.x. Sweet Dreams Version 12.0 ~ Utada Hikaru .x.

×.09.07.05..12:38.×

Current Mood: Hyper!!

Listening to: Watching Viva la Bam

Oh man. Me and my friend are SO EFFING AWESOME!!!!!!! (I am dernieredanse12, and Amy is Punketha).

dernieredanse12: Hm...*sneaks up behind you* ...no...I'm not a stalker... but I know that you are a duck!!
Punketha: Omgawsh!
Punketha: o_o Who are you?
dernieredanse12: Your best friend for-freaking-ever XP Hahaha sweetdreams2.
Punketha: ^_^!!
Punketha: You got that one fast. Hehe.
dernieredanse12: Oooh yes. Cause I'm cool. *strikes a pose xD*
Punketha: xD
dernieredanse12: Haha yessssss.......so how are you my little duck *pats head*
Punketha: -Nuzzles.- I'm fine.
Punketha: ^_^ And you?
dernieredanse12: I'm hyper!
dernieredanse12: Hyper + Tired = MASS CHAOS FOR THE WORLD...
Punketha: Yay!!
dernieredanse12: Fwahaha. Let's go like...destroy stuff.
Punketha: Yes, let's!
dernieredanse12: Yay!!
Punketha: -Drops a vase!- o_O;
dernieredanse12: *gasp O_O*
dernieredanse12: Oooh you're so bad.
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: xD
Punketha: Your turn!! Your turn!
dernieredanse12: Hm...*Raids the kitchen xD*
Punketha: -Runs around with a scissor in hand with the sharp point facing up.- Muhahahaha.
dernieredanse12: Fwahaha! THEY SHALL NEVER STOP US!!
Punketha: Never ever! Or I will stab them. ^_^
dernieredanse12: *nods rapidly* Stabbing is nice.
dernieredanse12: Oh yes
Punketha: Whoohoo!
dernieredanse12: *prances around*
Punketha: -Trips and the scissor flies across the room and smashes against mirror.- O_O!
dernieredanse12: O_O *gasp!!!*
Punketha: Awesome!
dernieredanse12: xD woo! Let's do that again!!!
Punketha: Yayy!
dernieredanse12: Hahaha. FEAR US PATHETIC HUMANSSSSSSS FOR WE ARE SUPERIOR TO YOU!!! *stomps*
Punketha: Wait..if they're humans, what are we?
dernieredanse12: We're...
Punketha: o_o;
dernieredanse12: Super Asian Humans?
dernieredanse12: xD; ...I mean we are just OH SO COOL like that.
Punketha: xD
Punketha: Oh, oh! I know something really really bad!! -Steals a cookie from the jar.-
dernieredanse12: *gasp!*...ohhh you've crossed the line. ISN'T IT GREAT XD
Punketha: xD!! It feels that way!!
dernieredanse12: xD!
Punketha: -Pokes at an adult with a stick.- Hey..is he dead? o_o;
dernieredanse12: o_o; *pokes too*...
Punketha: What did we do? I don't think I laid a finger on him..more like..a stick. o_O;
dernieredanse12: xD Sticks are dangerous?
Punketha: -Holds up stick in the air and waves frantically.- Bow to us, humans! We are goddesses. ^_^
dernieredanse12: Oh yes. *A heavenly aura glows around us*
Punketha: Angelic goddesses that turn demonic when there is no authority.
dernieredanse12: Oh yes....must...get...rid...of...authority..figures...
Punketha: And get more muffins. We're out of muffins. Hehe.
dernieredanse12: Hehe. Muffins are a must-have item.
Punketha: Yes! And the stupid police ate 'em all. They're not doing their jobs. They're just fattening themselves with said muffins!
dernieredanse12: Yes!! We must punish them now.
dernieredanse12: *Deprives them of coffee for a week*
Punketha: ^_^
dernieredanse12: Ohoho! I HAVE THE ALMIGHTY COFFEE-DEPRIVING POWERS!!
Punketha: They will surely learn their lessons by the end of the week.
dernieredanse12: Oh yes.
Punketha: They better. :\ Or I'm gonna have to take their stupid toy guns away from them too.
dernieredanse12: Of course!
Punketha: This is fun!! ^_^
dernieredanse12: Very fun!!! We must do this more often. xD
Punketha: Oh of course. Or I'm gonna have to stop eating Skittles. o_o;
dernieredanse12: *gasp* NOT THE SKITTLES!!!
Punketha: I know..it's a horrible punishment.
Punketha: T-T
dernieredanse12: *cries a thousand tears* Anything but the Skittles...
Punketha: -Cries a thousandxa thousand tears.-
dernieredanse12: T_T it's such a sad tale.
Punketha: Yes yes.
Punketha: Who is the Goddamn storywriter here?! I shall kill them for being so cruel!
dernieredanse12: *grabs a pencil* I'LL GET 'EM!!
Punketha: Where are they?! T_T!
dernieredanse12: *looks across the street* THERE THEY ARE!! GET THE GUY WITH THE TYPEWRITER!!
Punketha: -Looks at the terrified man and chases after him with a Sharpie.-
dernieredanse12: Ah. The power of the Sharpie.
Punketha: Sharpies are sexy and deadly at the same time! Amazing.
dernieredanse12: Oh very amazing. They are worthy of our presence.
Punketha: Very. Now.. -Tackles the man down.-
dernieredanse12: *draws on his face with the almight RED SHARPIE*
Punketha: You want a tattoo, dear? Here ya go! -Writes "LOSER" over his forehead in big bold letters.-
Punketha: What now?!
dernieredanse12: XD HE SHALL NEVER MESS WITH US AGAIN!!!!
Punketha: xD
dernieredanse12: xD;
Punketha: -Gets off the man and smiles innocently.- We should definately do this sometime again.
dernieredanse12: Hahaha. Oh yes.
dernieredanse12: *glances over at some guy*...YOU LOOKING AT ME?!
Punketha: That man has problems. He's staring at us as if we're crazy!
dernieredanse12: xD
dernieredanse12: HOW DARE HE?!
Punketha: The nerve!
dernieredanse12: *Busts out the Blue Sharpie*
dernieredanse12: Shall we?
Punketha: xD
Punketha: We shall!
dernieredanse12: *Charges toward him on a white horse*
Punketha: -Mounts her purple and black penguin.-
dernieredanse12: Woo!!! LET'S GO
Punketha: Fear teh penguin!!
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: xD;;
dernieredanse12: Oh man this is great.
Punketha: ^_____^
dernieredanse12: *jumps off the horse onto the guy and colors on his hair*
Punketha: -Makes the guy's shirt look pretty with green Sharpies.-
dernieredanse12: FEAR T3H GREEN
Punketha: You better. Or I'll take out a more deadly color.
Punketha: -Glares at guy.-
dernieredanse12: XDD Oh he fears it. Or does he...?.....
dernieredanse12: *Busts out the magenta*
Punketha: xD
dernieredanse12: Oh! We have a life or death situation on our hands...are the Sharpies the clicky ones or the ones with the cap?!
Punketha: The clicky ones. We ARE goddesses after all. ^_^
dernieredanse12: Oh of course...caps are not worthy of us.
Punketha: Not in the least bit.
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: -Clicks her teal Sharpie and tosses it at the guy's chest.- Die, die!
dernieredanse12: Oh you're so evil.
Punketha: I know. And it feels so..ehh..awesome.
Punketha: Hehe.
dernieredanse12: Fear. Our. Awesomeness.
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: Or. Face. The. Consequences. Of. Our. Evil. Muffins.
Punketha: ^_^
dernieredanse12: Ah yes...
Punketha: :\ He's running away.
dernieredanse12: How dare he.
dernieredanse12: *chucks a muffin at his head*
Punketha: xD
dernieredanse12: XD;
Punketha: -Hears a loud thud and an "Umph!"-
dernieredanse12: ...oops. xD Did *I* do THAT?! ...nono, it couldn't have been me.
Punketha: Yes. Do you not see this innocent face? Or are you really that blind?
dernieredanse12: *angelic glow and halo appears*
Punketha: xD
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: Man. Our imaginations..
Punketha: They rock!
dernieredanse12: Oh yes!!! Imagine if we were actually together right now O_O we'd probably be doing this stuff. xD
Punketha: xD I know.
dernieredanse12: Hahaha.
Punketha: We should meet someday. Then everyone will know what mass destruction is. ^_^
dernieredanse12: Oooh yes. ^_^
Punketha: Fun. ^_^
dernieredanse12: Lots of fun!!! ^__^ ...one day, ONE DAY IT SHALL HAPPEN!!
Punketha: Yes! And that one day! Ohohohoh! Well. It'll be a day. Hehe.
dernieredanse12: Oooh yes....
dernieredanse12: *daydreams*
Punketha: Daydreaming is so not toler-- -Starts to daydream as well.-
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: ^_^
dernieredanse12: Hehe.
Punketha: -Stops the drooling and daydreaming then wipes the drool.- Huh what?? o_o
dernieredanse12: o_o! ...*sees a bunny hop by and gets distracted*
Punketha: -Chases after said bunny but trips over a huge root sticking out from teh ground.- Noo!! Carl, don't leave me!! T_T
dernieredanse12: *catches Carl and gives him to you*
Punketha: Yay!! Thank you!! -Hugs both of you.-
dernieredanse12: ^O^
Punketha: Hehe.
dernieredanse12: *runs to your house*
dernieredanse12: *somehow*
Punketha: xD;;
dernieredanse12: Fwahaha! MOVE OUTTA MY WAY PEOPLE *clears the highways*
Punketha: ^_^
Punketha: -Is in her PJs with her hair wayyyy up in a bun with no socks on.- o_O;;
dernieredanse12: xD
Punketha: Hehe.
dernieredanse12: Oh aren't you cool?! Oh yes.
Punketha: Of course.
Punketha: After all, I am the only one that owns a purple pencil case with MY name on it.
Punketha: ^_^
dernieredanse12: ^__^ oh dang. xD NO ONE CAN BEAT THAT!
Punketha: Of course not! Hehe.
dernieredanse12: Hehe.

Oh daaaaang......I LOVE YOU AMY!!! *huggles* She's my little duck. Oh yes. FEAR OUR SHARPIES!!! <__< <3 oh yes. So much loooooooooooove!!! I love Jake too. Yes yes.

×.05.07.05..12:28.×

Current Mood: Happiiiiii

Listening to: The Sacrament - HIM

So I'm back in my HIM stage. <_<; But anyways, I had so much fun last night! Boat rides are fun. Haha. The sunset was soooo gorgeous x_X like omg. And I never noticed how ...cool Waukegan looks when you're out on the lake. Well. I've never been out on the lake before last night that I can remember so >_> but anyways, it was so awesome. The fireworks were really pretty too. Being with Jake is so...calming. Like...I forget about all of my problems and everything. He makes me feel really good. I love him soooo much!! ^//^ ... and that track jacket, oh man. xD haha well anyways. I have to get my laptop ghosted tomorrow. YAY! I get to go back to the school. And see Marcus. And give him the Laruku CD I was supposed to burn for him. Haha. Maybe I'll see some other people, that would make me OH SO FUCKING HAPPY x_X; ... and maybe the people for summer gym will be on break? ...maybe. haha. on thursday I'm hanging out with Jake and Isabel at the mall. YAY!! I love them so much. I haven't seen Isabel since her graduation party. Looooong time. But I shall go now.

×.26.06.05..10:58.×

Current Mood: So giddy

Listening to: HI YA YA X_X

HOLY.SHIT.I'M.ADDICTED.TO.THIS.SONG.AND.IT'S.ALL.ANU'S.FAULT.!!!!! But that's good. *bobs head to the song* I'm so giddy right now xD But a n y h o o haven't blogged in a while nene...*coughs* I've been lazy. <_<; ALWAYS BE HAPPY TOGETHER SARANG HAE HI YA YA YA X_______X the PV is so adorable x_X; THEY'RE SO HOT *chokes* alright i'm gonna..like..go...do..something o_O; *skips off*

×.09.06.05..7:39.×

Current Mood: Tired? lol.

Listening to: Effing birds that woke me up

Sooo there's nothing for me to do o.o My mom said that she'd take me to the mall so I can get my phone reactivated, but I don't think she's going to =_=; but oh well. Tomorrow she said that she might let me go over to Courtney's house. Yay! It'll be nice to hang out with her. I've never been over there so o.o it shall be interesting. So today's day 5 of not talking to Jake, that sounded really bad, I mean, day 5 of not PURPOSELY talking to Jake, I'd call him, but I'd get in trouble. Boo to that. MY EYE ITCHES... <_< Anyways. I woke up early today o.o not as early as CMT, but still early. For me haha. I still need to watch Tsubasa...

×.08.06.05..11:06.×

Current Mood: Bored.

Listening to: The Brilliant Green - Angel Song

I took quizzes. Because I have no life. Because I can't call up anyone without getting in trouble anymore. I got in trouble for calling someone last night, so I just got a SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP from my parents. They piss me off. I woke up this morning with a headache...

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

sweet
You like the ones that understand you.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Lonlieness
You are sad because of the loneliness in your life

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

×.04.06.05..14:46.×

Current Mood: I dunno. Bored.

Listening to: Sailor Moon..XD...

So I talked to him.
It made me happy cause I missed him.
A lot.
But I hope that he's doing okay ~

×.01.06.05..15:27.×

Current Mood: ....

Listening to: Nothing.

...Fine, if he won't talk to me, then I won't talk to him.
I'm done with this.
It's like he doesn't even care.
I'm glad she told me what he was saying.
I'm...through.
Edit:
...I'm in so much pain right now...I say that I don't care about him...when I know that I still do...so much...it hurts to think that...he doesn't care, that everything could've been a bunch of lies all along...these are moments when I regret this...becoming more than friends...we used to be best friends...and now we barely talk anymore....it hurts..........I want to cry...but the tears won't come out....I'm just so...depressed....I knew it...I'm one of those people who are unlovable...maybe as a friend, but nothing more...they..probably think that I'm so annoying...that I'm so boring...I am...maybe...things would be better for everyone...if I was...gone.............

×.31.05.05..22:10.×

Current Mood: Appreciated.

Listening to: There Will Come a Day

Alright so0o...
I'm bored.
And my eyes burn. <_< Stupid fire. Haha. No, not stupid fire. Stupid SMOKE from the fire. We just bought one of those outdoor fireplace things.
I was feeling depressed.
Then I was talking to Jarrett about my eating disorders. He made me feel better. He told me that I made it into his prayers. And that if I needed help with anything...that he'd be there. That meant a lot....he's a really great friend.
Most of the other people either yelled at me, or didn't want to talk about it with me, or didn't talk to me at all about it...but not him ~ That certainly made my night.
Thanks. <3 ~
I feel appreciated o_o By Jarrett and Sachi and Courtney and Tanya and Anupa...*cries* They're so nice to me T___T But whyyy...
I really like this song Anu sent me o__o; I need to clear off my bed...<_<;; It has money and Cds and my phone and webcam on it XD; maybe I'll sleep on the floor. hm..
Now for this relationship thing ~ I dunno. J'EN AI MARRE...>_<;...maybe I'm imagining it? overexaggerating my thoughts? i dont know anymore. maybe love's driven me crazy.
Jerry cracks me up.
Jerry (9:34:14 PM): Tu es mèchant aussi, n'est-ce pas?
Me (9:34:33 PM): Oui ..
Jerry (9:34:41 PM): PourquoioiitgdfJ?
Me (9:35:36 PM): Parce que...JAKE EST TRES BETE ET MECHANT >_<;;;
Jerry (9:35:43 PM): o_o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Jerry (9:35:50 PM): Whaaat happpppppppennnned
Jerry (9:36:31 PM): <_<;
Me (9:36:59 PM): Like..
Me (9:38:47 PM): Gah, it seems like he's ignoring me and it seems like he's mad at me or something when I didn't do anything and whenever I try to talk to him he blows me off and he's flirting with other girls and he's acting really ...gah and if he DOES talk to me then it's for help or something and it's starting to piss me off cause if I talk to him he still acts like he's mad at me or that I did something wrong and it's making me feel like I'm not appreciated for everything that I do for him and >__<;;
Me (9:38:49 PM): I'm fed up
Jerry (9:39:15 PM): o_____-o;
Jerry (9:39:18 PM): is he on?
Jerry (9:39:20 PM): <_<;.
Jerry (9:39:27 PM): I'm going to set him straight.
Jerry (9:39:28 PM): <_____<;
Me (9:40:15 PM): no...he's not on >_<
Jerry (9:40:35 PM): When he is
Jerry (9:40:44 PM): I shall beat him with an idiot whip.
Jerry (9:40:44 PM): <_<;
Me (9:41:18 PM): Lmao
Me (9:41:20 PM): Good >_<;;
Jerry (9:41:38 PM): I'd be scared to see you mad'
Jerry (9:41:45 PM): You'd go all anime witch
Jerry (9:41:47 PM): and zap someone
Yep that's it.

×.30.05.05..11:06.×

Current Mood: Good~ I'm quite happy right now.

Listening to: Kill the Drama - Spitalfield

Okay sooo...I woke up this morning, took a shower then did my chores. Now I'm sitting here listening to my new Spitalfield CD and chatting to Courtney, Alvin, and I think her name's Mandy..x_X;; but anyways, haha. I'm in a good mood today. ^_^ dunno why, but it's good. Maybe cause I actually got some sleep. For more than 2 hours. Haha.
Hm...I'm so sad that Yvonne's moving =( I just met her this year and now she's moving to Antioch. Boo to that.
Today's gonna be boring, but oh well. Cause I'm not doing anything. We usually go over to my grandma's house on these kind of holidays, but of course our family is kind of falling apart and we don't talk to anybody that much anymore. Which is perfectly fine with me. <_< I really only talk to Erin, Mary, Roxanne, and Bridget...yeah. My cousins. My GOOD cousins. >_>; But whatever. I ran into Roxanne yesterday at Menard's cause I was there with my dad so I was glad cause I haven't seen her in a while. ^_^
OHOH yesterday I also ran into some old friends of mine! It was so good to see Nate and Amy and Brenden. ^__^ So they came over and we hung out. Played basketball and football haha, then at like 8pm we made a fire in the backyard and made s'mores. Yep. It was nice to hang out with them again, I missed them =( They left at like 10:30pm. lol. They had to go all the way back up to Milwaukee o_o; But they got home okay and their parents weren't angry XD; which is good. so that was fun...

×.27.05.05..17:26.×

Current Mood: Happy! Kind of.

Listening to: Kalan Porter - In Spite of it All

Alright so I haven't blogged in a while. NEW LAYOUT! haha.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT MY FRESHMAN YEAR IS OVER!!!! I couldn't be happier. Now it is time to remember the year. ^____^ It was such a great year..
Beginning of the year...wow, haha I remember when I first met certain people. Like Jake, he pulled the chair out from underneath me. Yup, that's how I met him...pretty sad, isn't it? Then we started off as brother and sister...twins..hahaha, but of course we broke that towards the end of the year. We became great friends immediately.
And Sachi!!! Aw I remember how I met Sachi. I remember...going into the lunchroom and then sitting down by Kristen, then Ashley sat down next to Kristen...after a few days she started drawing and she was sitting right next to me, I looked over and saw her drawing anime and we instantly clicked XD I was all OMG YOU LIKE ANIME?! and yeah. The conversation bloomed from that one line cause I wasn't afraid to say something to her ^__^ Then after a few weeks Jake invited me to sit at his table. Yay! lol. I was really happy at that point cause I started to like him a lot. Ashley sat with other people, but then after that first day of meeting we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and then she started sitting by me and stuff. ^__^ hehe.
This year was great. I made sooooo many new friends and I found love :) Let's see what else happened during the year...oh yeah, that whole thing with my parents. lol...the lying thing about the movies, I completely blew that. But everything worked out.
I'm glad that the year's over with, but I'm going to miss everybody. 3 more years of high school! Oh yeah, and I have a new older brother! Haha. Wince Tyson is my older brother. I met him in French class. OHOH I remember, he was the first person to say Hi to me in that class, let alone the whole year (like, someone I didn't know from last year or the summer). So he has a special place in my heart :) Lol I'm so cheesy. But anyways, yeah, on the first day of French class he said Hi to me cause I sat behind him...then we became good friends ^_^ But he was a senior so he's graduating and such now...*sniffles* but we talk online so it's all good! He's a cool guy.
Well I shall go now, maybe play DDR and await the call from Lilli.
Byee!

×.16.05.05..13:31.×

Current Mood: fuck you ._.

Listening to: Nothing

...my day started out okay, except for the fact that I couldn't wake up this morning...I had no will power. But anyways, then it was going alright when I got to school and it went great until 4th period. Well, before 4th period. -_- I'm not going to post about it on this for the whole fucking world to see cause it's personal and all that...but...-_- Omg. I can't believe this. She's actually...ugh. I can't believe this...I didn't think anyone else would do that (how stupid of me) after everything we went through...but of course...fucking depression...she let the depression get to her...and then...she did it...she said it helped her ease her pain...how can it help ease her pain if it hurts her and everyone else around her even more...all over a fucking guy...I mean, sure, they're both emotionally unstable...but...he has to be there for her...if she thinks that he's worth causing herself pain, she's wrong...cause the person that's worth suffering for won't do anything to hurt you...but she doesn't understand that...so she goes and does THAT...just so she can be okay...she's not okay...it's making her worse...-_-...I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this again...it's so scary...omg...I'm so worried...I keep getting chills...my whole body is cold...I can't think straight...people are pissing me off...even if they're not doing anything...I'm just stressed out...I don't want her to get hurt anymore, and I'm just really pissed off and depressed right now. But do people notice?! Of course they don't. -_- ....... No one notices. It's horrible. I hate not being noticed. Only a few people acknowledged my mood change. Thank you CMT…

×.11.05.05..08:35.×

Current Mood: o_o
Listening to: Rhapsody - TRAX (it's stuck in my head, so technically it's music, eh?)
Hm...so I'm feeling a bit better than the past two days. It's kind of surprising, since it's pouring rain and thundering/lightning outside. Maybe it calms me? I haven't talked to CMT all morning, I was going to talk to her about s o m e t h i n g which shall be nameless cause YOU don't need to know but it didn't occur cause yeah she knows what I'm talking about, I'm going to write her a note in study hall or whatever to tell her all the details and such if she's even at school today she was upset last night cause of the deaths of Laura and Krystal....Speaking of that, they found out that the father got mad that the mother let Laura off her grounding ONE DAY EARLY so in a fit of rage went out, beat the two and then stabbed them numerous times. Someone has problems. BIG problems. -_- The world really does anger me. Well anyways...hopefully today won't be as bad as yesterday, yesterday just sucked. <_< it really did. For various reasons. I'm sure CMT knows why. Cause I was complaining to her and I feel bad cause she had her own problems...sorry. T_T; she's the only one that knows about those problems...and I don't want to post them here so I'll email her later on. She's bound to check her email sooner or later ya know? Anyways, I have a growing stomach pain. =_=; *just dies* And I have this cut on my thumb and I don't know how it got there <_< it's kind of starting to sting, but whatever. *ignores it* I'm so tired. I was behind in my english reading (we're reading the book "Night", about the Holocaust) and so I had to catch up...got done reading around 10:30pm or something like that then I stayed up talking to Anu cause I didn't get to talk to her yesterday *cries* cause of that stupid rehearsal T__T; but ah well...then I couldn't fall asleep for some odd reason so I got up and watched A Night at the Roxbury <_< YES I HAVE A WEIRD OBSESSION WITH THAT MOVIE GET OVER IT o_o...>_>;;;;; It's good...*chokes* anyways, JERRY CALLED ME LAST NIGHTTTT...and made me feel better. He's so great. Haha. BOOT...The Ultimate Hobo. Yes. <_< Don't ask. Now I have Ma Cherie stuck in my head o_o; It's so catchy *swoons* Haha. *cracks my neck* Ow...*loser* Anyways...alright I've said anyways about 5 times now eh...I really need to start on my english project XD;; at least she's giving us the weekend!!! I have a stupid dentist appointment on saturday. Boo to that. At least it's in the morning. Then I'm going out. 3 months! Huzzah... <_<..........................................................o_o anyhoo (yay new word) then on monday I go to the orthodonist to get these damned BRACES OFF!!! YAY!!! After 3 long years, they're finally coming off! XD p|-|33|2 /\/\3 y0|_| 50|\| 0|= 4 |317C|-|! Hahaha just kidding about that part. Gr! My stomach....aches.....I'm very serious today. Dunno why. Maybe cause I'm so tired. I've been writing a lot in my blog lately..
Like
A
Whole
Shit
Load
Of
Nothing
That no one really reads anyways, well, except for Anu. Cause she loves me. *glomp*
XD
When I type this out in WordPad (yes WordPad cause it doesn't have that damned spell check) I put the < br > code in there cause I'm too lazy to put it there when I actually post it <_< O m g this stomach pain is KILLING ME!!! It feels like there's a needle in there or something daaaaaaamn...*dies* Maybe it'll go away after a while. Hopefully. I'm NOT going to go the whole day with this thing, I'll die before that. At least I don't have to go to school tomorrow, YAY! Cause the physics students are going to Six Flags or whatever and since my parents wouldn't let me go, my mom said that she'll let me stay home and she'll call in for me and say that I have some kind of doctor's appointment or whatever. Yeah. Yay for me. She's probably gonna make me clean all day <_<...but oh well. I'll live. I guess. At least I'll be at home and not at the school pretty much by myself in the tech classes. Even then...most of the kids that are in the regular classes are in tech too, so it doesn't work either way. lol. Well this is long enough for now, I shall write more later. Probably in study hall or something. YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE...(last thing) WHEN PEOPLE JUST STARE AT YOU LIKE YOU'RE SOME KIND OF FREAK CAUSE YOU CAN TYPE FAST <__< I GET THAT A LOT...I HATE IT...OH...LIKE IN THE COMPUTER LAB, I HATE THE DESKTOP KEYBOARDS CAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING LOUD X_x SO THEN WHEN I TYPE EVERYONE IS JUST STARING AT ME CAUSE IT'S SO LOUD AND SO I HAVE TO TYPE LIKE T H I S PECKING AT THE KEYBOARD WHICH I REALLY HATE JUST SO THAT I WON'T GET WEIRD GLANCES FROM THE PEOPLE AROUND ME *breathes* Alright I'm good....*skips away then collapses from stomach pains*

Hey look I'm back. It is now 12:46 and I am in physics class. It's almost over. But I am bored, so thus I decided to write in my blog. Since I love it so much. =P...*coughs* Anyways, tomorrow is going to be so boring =__= at least I don't have to go to school...but I think I really do have some kind of appointment now that I think of it o__O;; OH...I know what it is now. Oops. I kinda f o r g o t . . . . *giggles* o_o Stupid cardiologist....I think it's only for a check-up, they didn't really tell me what I'm going for. *shrugs* that kind of scares me lol...oh well. I shall be fine, n'est pas? <_< I don't think I spelled that right. I forgot HOW to spell that...oops. Vive le français <_<;;...anyways...man...I must have some odd obsession with that word, I mean c'mon now, I've said it like a trillion times already in this ONE blog entry. A...*stopped myself* I need a new word. o_o So, XD like that's any better. But ah well. So...bored. And I'm quite tired. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow yay! Hopefully. But knowing my mom, she's going to make me get up e a r l y and clean before my appointment. Then we get to go down to Chicago to Children's Memorial Hospital and I get to have tests done. I think. I'll write more later.

×.10.05.05..09:51.×

Current Mood: Blah
Listening to: Nothing
Alright. I have come to the very sad conclusion that I don't know what's wrong with me. Isn't it depressing how I barely know myself? There's probably someone out there who knows me better than I do. Which is scary in a way. I've been getting in these kind of moods lately...everything just pisses me off, and I'm very moody. Just the slightest little thing will cause a mood change. I hate that. Except the problem is: I really don't know why, or what's wrong with me. I had these kind of moods last year, but it was from depression. This year...well, I have no excuse whatsoever.

Just as a side note, I would like to state the current news in my area. Two girls, 8 and 9, were murdered Saturday night and found Sunday morning at approximately 6am in Beulah Park. A heavily wooded area. Their names are Laura Hobbs and Krystal Tobias. It's so sad that someone is sick enough to do that. They were stabbed multiple times and left in a park to die. Who in their right mind could even think of doing that? It angers me. A lot. Please pray for their souls and their families. They need all the help and prayers that they can get right now.

But anyways...you know what REALLY pisses me off? It's when people tell me that I'm too serious and that I need to lighten up. Don't they understand that this is the way I am, and I'm not going to change anytime soon? I just matured faster than they did emotionally. I can't help it. It's just the way I am. Yes, I know that I'm too serious and that I really should try to live life to the fullest in THEIR eyes, but in my eyes...I am living life to the fullest. I'm trying hard with my school work and I'm living my life the way I want to, and that's all that matters. If someone told them to change, would they? I think that they would get pretty angry too. Just like those hyprocrites out there....they say that one of the things that they hate the most is someone trying to get them to do something they don't wanna do, or to change, but yet in their everyday lives whether they realize it or not, they tell people what to do all the time. I wish I had enough courage to say something about it. But no, I have to be shy. I always was, and I always will be. But sometimes I really wish that I could and would change...especially with my emotions. I always hide my emotions cause I'm afraid that people are going to criticize me about that, too. Sometimes I feel as if people expect too much out of me and then if I do something that they don't approve of, they get to hang it over my head forever. If not forever, then a long time. Few years, maybe.

I wish I had something worth living for, instead of just myself. Just to live for yourself....sounds really selfish, doesn't it? But in this world, that's all you can really do. Live for yourself. Try not to care what others think, even if it's hard to ignore their rude comments. I shouldn't let words hurt me. That's what people always tell me. But it's mostly because they've never experienced anything in that field so they just try to sound...logical. I know I shouldn't let words hurt me. But it's hard, it's so fucking hard. Words hurt a lot. More than most people know. The people that say the words to each other that cause one person or even a whole group of people to get hurt...they don't realize it until it happens to them. It's depressing. Sometimes I wonder why the world is like this. -_- Maybe I am just too serious. Maybe I really do act too old for my age. I'm only 15...these years were supposed to be the best. They're not. But I do have to admit, they are one hell of a lot better than my former years. I never want to relive those again. Ever.

Now, about that decision....this morning I thought I had made the right choice, for me at least, and I was going to go. But now...I don't know. I mean...I would only be gone for the school year and whatever, but what if things change too drastically for me? What if...I leave, and then come back in the summer, and everything's different? What if I lose all of my friends? What if this relationship I'm in dies? Then I would realize that I was stupid. But what if I get the chance to start over at the new school? What if I make new friends there? What if my life gets better? It's a win-lose situation in a way. I can either go and start a new life, or stay and never know what I missed. Or I can take the risk of losing everything that I've worked for here. If I could just...look into the future...

But that won't ever happen.

It is impossible, unfortunately, because then everything would be easier.

So...much easier.

I want to make a new blog layout. This one is...boring. lol. Maybe it's just the colour, I'm not that fond of it. It was a last minute thing, anyways...maybe I'll just copy and paste the HTML from myspace or DS cause I'm too lazy to type it out again. *shrugs* It's cold in here (the IMC). And there's about 11 minutes left of this boring study hall. I should read Night. I'm about 2 chapters behind. But I just don't feel like it. I can't concentrate anymore. On anything. Even things that don't involve school work. It's sad. My life seems to be going downhill. That's what it feels like, at least. Or maybe I'm just making it that way...life is what you make it, or so they say. Maybe I'm just...different from everybody else. That's what my parents told me. That I'm different. I came to them crying when I was little because some people were making fun of the way I look, all they said was..."You're different. It's okay." It's not okay. They didn't try to comfort me. They didn't say that everything's going to be alright, that they're stupid and don't know what they're talking about. All they said was, "You're different." Those words stuck with me for a long time, because back then I believed anything and everything that my parents said. I believe I am different. When I look around, it's rare to see someone that looks like me. Especially around here. I guess I'll just go now. I don't have anything else to add. And there's only about 6 minutes left of study hall...so I'll just leave. I can't seem to smile much anymore. Not today, at least...

×.09.05.05..09:30.×

Current Mood: Cynical o_o
Listening to: Nothing
Alright so yesterday was Mother's Day, Happy Late Mother's Day so go and tell your mothers that <_< OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAWN....I DIDN'T FORGET ^O^ *is special* Yes, mentally. Well anyways, yesterday my parents brought me up to Milwaukee so show me that Catholic school that I might be attending. It's St. Anthony's school up in Milwaukee....it's a really nice school. Alright so you see, my parents gave me this choice that I can either stay, or I can go. It's like they knew that I would actually have a problem deciding whether or not to change my whole lifestyle. Hm...see....part of me WANTS to go, surprisingly, and then the other part of me is like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?! YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING?! So yeah. I'm having this dilemma going onn inside of me, and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. You'd think that I would stay, since when I found out about it I was like going crazy ready to kill something. But now....I dunno...it seems like it might not be a bad idea. I mean, I wouldn't have to live with my parents, but I WOULD have to live with an aunt that I barely know and left a bad impression on me when I first met her. What am I supposed to do? Well on the brighter side...there is no brighter side. I'm having problems. This decision is getting to me. I really...REALLY don't know if I'm willing to leave everything that I've created and met and cared for and loved...just so I can start over. Leave this place. Well, I'm going to go. I'll update later.
Alright so I'm back. It is now 13:20 and I am in keyboarding. I'm so confused o_x; I want to go, yet I don't. I don't want to leave my friends or whatever but at least I wouldn't have to live with my parents...but I really don't want to leave my friends here. I think that without them, I would die. You know? I'm actually trying to forget about them so if I DO decide to go, it won't be that hard. *sigh* well I'm confusing myself even more, so I shall go now. I guess. I'll update later..or tomorrow..

×.06.05.05..15:27.×

Current Mood: I dunno
Listening to: Nothing
Hey. I'm writing this in school, and it is 1:20 pm. I guess I just want someone to read what's going on in this life of mine. Or at least this day's. Today's just one of those days, when you feel so sad that you just don't know what to do or how to explain it...or you just don't want to or CAN'T talk about it out loud, you just have to type it or write it to someone. Yup, that's how I am right now. I don't know why I can't laugh or smile like I usually can, just today I feel kind of...neglected, I guess. If that's the appropriate word for it. I'm also worried about my friends. Alvin. Sachi. They're going through hard times in their lives. I wish I could do something to help. But I can't. I can't give advice. I never know the right words to say to someone if they're having a problem. I just feel alone. Used. Yeah, that's right. Used. I feel as if some people who are my so called "friends", if these "friends" of mine were to just hang out with me outside of school, these "friends" wouldn't know what to talk about since usually when they talk to me it's either me "helping" them, or them asking for something in return for what? False Friendship. I guess I'm pretty emotional. It's just that people piss me off so much to the point where if I say no, they just get mad at me and like tell me to lighten up. That it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter to THEM. But if they took a peek inside of my head, they would want to get immediately. Yeah, I'm emotional. But can I help it? No, I've just developed these "skills" from my experiences in school and life itself. I was made fun of. A lot. Why? Mostly because of my name, I hate it so much. People just can't seem to drop it, because they're so immature. nce they find something to pick on you about, they won't stop. Don't tell me that it's not how it is. You don't know. I guess I just have a tough life. Heh, and people wonder why I'm so serious. Maybe I'm just...too mature. That...I never really had that great of a childhood, except I'm weak and let it get to me. I let it effect my fucking future. Sometimes I just feel like I'm nothing, like no one knows I'm here, like no one cares even if they did notice. Like today. I don't know why, I just feel so fucking alone like no one cares about the way I feel and that they can just go on like they think nothing is wrong. Want to know why? Because they don't notice when I'm in a bad mood. Whether I'm angry, sad, lonely...they don't notice. No one ever asks how I'm feeling. But can I do anything about it? No. Why is that? Why don't people understand that no matter what they say, or whatever they do, nothing's going to become alright right then and there? They're ignorant. There are a lot of ignorant and immature people out there. But of course, I can't do anything about it. I'm afraid to speak up. I'm afraid to talk. I'm afraid to do anything outgoing. I'm afraid to be around a lot of people. I'm afraid that if I tell a lot of people this, that they'll just...stop talking to me. I'm afraid of being alone. But even though I feel alone right now, I'm not afraid. I'm not scared. But when I'm not alone, I am scared. Frightened. Because I get the feeling and thought that they're going to leave. That I'm going to be left here. That's what my main fear is: but no one knows. Except for you. I'm afraid to get close to someone. So afraid. If I think I'm getting too close to someone...I have the tendency to move away...to...just let myself slip out of their life. But right now that's too late. I'm already attached to him. I can't leave him. I'm afraid that he's going to leave me. I'd die. When I reread what I typed right after I type it, it doesn't sound stupid. Because it's how I'm really feeling at the time. But if I save this, wait a week or two, or even a day or two if the feelings pass by, then it looks stupid. Pointless. Like nothing ever happened. That I was being too emotional for people to read this and actually care. But right now...it feels like it's how I look at the world. It IS how I feel. People are so immature. It fucking pisses me off, how they act like fucking third graders. No, wait, correction. The third graders that I know act more like adults than they do. They're going to have to accept the fact that eventually they're going to have to grow up and live on their own, whether they like it or not. I can't help the way I think and feel. It's just me. If I wasn't so serious, sure, maybe more people would want to be my friend. But no, what am I? An over-achiever, too serious, needs to open up, be more wild. That's what people tell me all the time. But if I did that just to make their precious asses happy, I would be an imposter. A fake. A fraud. But people don't seem to accept that, either. They say, "Oh, it's deep inside you! Just loosen up. Be more wild, outgoing. Open up. Let us see the real you." Don't they understand, that the person I am right now IS the real me? Of course they don't. I'm too nice to people. I don't like it. I let people take advantage of me to use me without me noticing until after the event has already taken place. I let people wlak all over me. I'm just weak. Emotionally and physically weak. Mostly emotional. People are so fucking immature...it pisses me off so. Fucking. Much. I just wish they'd die sometimes...or at least move...go away...so that I wouldn't have to deal with their shit. They'll never grow up. They fight like they're in kindergarten, even their words are things that little toddlers say to each other when they're having a fight. It just pisses me off so much. Well. Class is almost over. About 6 or 7 minutes left. My back hurts. I'm in a depressed and angry mood. And I'm sure that none of you got this far in reading my pathetic excuse for a blog entry. Goodbye.
--- Jinah
Ended @ 1:39 pm.

×.04.05.05..15:55.×

Current Mood: Hm...smad?

Listening to: Courtney talk on the phone and my mom freaking out about grandma o_o;

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a ten
your best quality is youre talented
your worst quality is sometimes you want perfection
this is because lifes a bitch
Quiz created with MemeGen!

lol. that's true. Sometimes I do want perfection XD;; But I don't think that the personality rating is correct. <_<; lol. well i'm gonna go eat pizza drink soda and do homework.
OH AND I DID CAN'T STOP FALLING IN LOVE SPEED REMIX ON HEAVY AND GOT AN A! YAY XD *stands up proud then falls down like jello*

×.30.04.05..14:30.×

Current Mood: Happi/Sore

Listening to: Where Do You Go - No Mercy XD YES FROM NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY <_<...

Ahaha okay so I started cleaning my room at around 10am this morning, then I decided that I'd move some stuff around. Well I ended up moving my bed, my bigger dresser, and my little dresser thing around and having to do a lot more than I planned on doing but oh well o_o; I had to move the stuff by myself cause no one else was home XD;; H e a v y or maybe I'm just w e a k <_<...or both o_O I was like using the walls and my legs a lot cause I have a LOT more leg muscle than arm muscle and that's how I pushed the damn furniture <___< *loser*
I just got done and I'm rewarding myself with strawberries and lemonade XD Now I have this nice area in my corner for my guitar so NO ONE CAN KNOCK IT DOWN >_>; But yeah o_o IT'S CLEAN *_* XD Okay I shall go.

×.29.04.05..20:38.×

Current Mood: SHIT.

Listening to: Don't Speak - No Doubt

Fuck! I had a shitty day. Like completely. I have a fucking D in geometry that my parents are killing me over, and they're also killing me over my C in physics. I'm getting sick again so for the past few hours I've been coughing my brains out, I was crying so hard earlier so that's the reason why I wasn't online (if any of you care) cause of my parents and then I'm having some emotional problems. My friend emailed me and pointed out the obvious that I could already see, doesn't he know that flirting is NOT part of a relationship?! And ____ is not flirting with me, he's just TALKING to me, I don't like him, and I don't even like him as a friend even! So what the fuck...I know it pisses him off, he told me, but he obviously doesn't see that I'M getting pissed off too! It's starting to hurt me, like, a lot, but I hate bringing shit like this up because it usually fucks everything over and then I regret it cause usually it ends badly. Usually me losing that significant other. >_< ....... after reading that email she sent me I started to cry more because I know it's fucking true...

EDIT: (@ 23:07) Okay so I left a comment on his DS account cause I HAD to say something about it eventually you know? I got a reply, and I feel better. Well you'll be happy to hear that I am happy again. *skips off*

×.27.04.05..22:09.×

Current Mood: Kinda Sick

Listening to: Watching A Night at the Roxbury

Wo0o...I'm watching A Night at the Roxbury, because I deserve a break. >_<;; I've been doing homework allllllllll day long cause I'm not allowed to go anywhere! But whatever. So um...I'm out.

×.26.04.05..22:09.×

Current Mood: No comment

Listening to: Famous Last Words - Zeromancer

Ugh I'm uber tired..
Let's see...what'd I do today..
~ Went to school...
--- man that sucked, I mean we got the homework LOADED on us, or at least I did. =_= And I felt sick. Headache. Stomach ache. You know. The usual. And then I felt a rush of jealousy! Haha. Yes. Pathetic I know, but like he was all over her ._."...I couldn't help it. Even if he was just trying to get something from her. And then those other two girls..that are always all over him. You know I find it kind of HYPOCRITICAL that he calls me over to ask why I let ____ flirt with me (no names mentioned) and I said that I don't like it and that I tell him to STOP and he keeps doing it and then he said that it pisses him off but he didn't want to say anything to sound rude, that's how I am but whenever I go to tell him there they go again! Why does it seem okay if he lets THEM flirt with him, and I can't let ____ flirt with me? Even if I don't want him to. Grr.
~ Went on a French club field trip
--- Hmm that was alright, we walked around Highland Park in the shops and what-not. Then we went to that fancy French restaurant. Pretty good. My feet hurt though. Stupid dress shoes. RYAN OWES ME 6 DOLLARS...*helped him buy an Atreyu CD at Borders*
~ Came home and got yelled at
--- Yay, well doesn't that sound fun? Cause Mme. Helland got LOST we were late and of course my dad blamed it all on me for being late, but what else is new?
~ Writing this
--- Yep. Tomorrow I have to do lots of homework. And chores. Yay. At least there's no school. So I won't have to put up with some things.

×.23.04.05..23:46.×

Current Mood: Smad

Listening to: Nothing

Okay I was being harassed online and it pissed me off so there's the mad part of my mood, and then the sad part of my mood is just random. One of those random sadness moments where you just have to think about some things.
It's much easier to type out your thoughts so I might as well do that.
I...get scared. Easily. I...get jealous. Easily. I...am a very emotional person who has learned to kind of hide their feelings so that I won't have to be interrogated by my friends to ask what's wrong. I hate that. I don't like talking about it. Not in person, at least. Like adoption issues. I HATE talking about them. I always end up crying if I'm talking about racism or adoption issues out loud. Always. That's why I avoid the subject as often as I can. Especially in school. I say that it doesn't matter...when I know it really does.
Then I get scared when I'm in a relationship. How do I know that they're gonna be loyal? My ex's have said that they would stay true, but did they ever? No. I guess I don't really trust that many people. Though this relationship seems different. More trust involved. More..chemistry. At least I feel it. I dunno if he does. Then I get jealous, yep, that's how pathetic I am. Well, I guess it's natural to get jealous if he's being a little flirty with other girls, right? No...not like this. Most girls usually say something about it. I don't. I get scared and run away. I hate telling people how I really feel. I hate showing people my true emotions. Absolutely completely hate it. Isn't it weird how I can type all of this personal stuff and just post it on the web, but not talk to people that are close to me about it? So, so pathetic. I'm such a worthless person. I don't see what's so great about me. I don't see how I have a boyfriend. I don't see why people talk to me. I really, really don't. So if you know, please tell me. I'd like to know. Cause I personally don't see anything.
Anyways, I haven't done any of my homework yet lol...better start on it now.

×.17.04.05..19:45.×

Current Mood: Tiredddd

Listening to: Nothing

Hmmm alright well let's see.
Friday: Worked on project
Saturday: Went over to Jake's house for his party, haha that was so much fun ^_^ I'm glad I went. *giggles*
Sunday: I had a small hangover. After I got home my cousin came over, my parents went out, and well yeah. Yay for alcohol? Haha. T'was good. o_o ...*coughs* In church I kept feeling like I was gonna puke.
That's it for now x__X;...DON'T KILL ME PEOPLE.

×.10.04.05..21:13.×

Current Mood: Uberly Happi

Listening to: Haddaway ~ What is Love

Ya know, my weekend didn't suck!!! For once. I was actually allowed to do stuff. *yay* On friday I went to the mall with Jake, we weren't there all that long though...oh well, we walked around the freakin' mall like 4 times back and forth and ran into Ivan and them 3 times. lol. OH and then when we were in the food court we saw these two guys and we SWORE they were gay. Lol. We were watching them. Jake wanted to go up to them and ask if they were gay. They really looked it though. XD T'was great. Then we saw them again when we were in the food court with Ivan, Mike, Chewy, Joe, and Ashley. Good times.
Then on saturday, I went to the orthodonist. I'M GETTING MY BRACES OFF MAY 16TH!!!! Yayayay I'm sooo happy about that. Stupid 3 year braces. >_<;; OH and there's nothing wrong with me. No stupid evil disease. Then I stayed home and worked on homework. Kind of. And went over to Kathy's house. THEN talked to Alvin and Kathy on the phone for a long time.
OKAY and then TODAY I went over to Jake's house. Yayay XD He taught me to play pool XD I was all Umm yeah I've never played pool before and then he got this HUGE grin on his face and like got behind me and positioned my arms in the right spots to shoot *giggles* I truly and honestly suck, I'm never playing pool again XD. I probably just sucked cause my hands weren't in a comfortable position and the BIG reason is probably cause I was all nervous and such *very self conscious* and hai o_o And we watched A Night At the Roxsbury...however you spell it <_< That's a great movie. So funny. We took his doggies for a walk too. ^O^ His doggies are so cute! We went up to his room and looked at houses too in a catalog thing (Menards?) until my dad came and picked me up. So all in all, it was great. First time that me and him really just hung out together alone. *giggles* o_o T'was great...
But hai...such a good day. Then next saturday is his birthday party. I have to get him something. Cause I wanna. And yeah o_O Haha. Well this is long enough.

×.03.04.05..15:20.×

Current Mood: Giddy

Listening to: POKEMON SOUNDTRACK XD...

Oh my gawd. I have never felt so kiddish in my life XD Me and Anu are listening to our Pokemon soundtracks...Yes...we own them <__< Actually mine's my brother's but I listened to it more than he did <__< >__> But hai...she has the first soundtrack and I have the third. XD We're having so much fun with this. Like wo0o...and we both noticed how hot Billy Crawford is <___<;;;...*chokes* We're so bored that we're listening to these songs...they're so good though XD [music note] to know the unknown...[music note] Like lmao. I actually remember these songs. Ahaha...
*coughs* ANYWAYS...<_< I'm soooo bored. I haven't hung out with any of my friends all spring break T~T *is a loser* <_<; Well whenever I was asked to do anything it was like the WORST timing which really sucks o_o And then two of my best friends went out of town on the days that I wasn't doing anything >_>; NATURALLY EH...so now I'm sitting here alone doing nothing except talking to Anu and Alyssa cause there's nothing to do o_o I would play DDR but my back is KILLING ME...ohoh I can do double now XD;;...it's hard eh o_x; I can only do it on light though...<_< *loser I tell you*
Anyhoo this is long enough *lazy*

×.28.03.05..19:48.×

Current Mood: Cry cry cry...

Listening to: Nothing

I'm really bored. Here are quizzes I took.

Classical Beauty! A true beauty. You're the perfect
example for that what every young girl wants to
be or what a boy wants to marry, a princess. Of
course you're pretty but you also have many
qualitys which are as important for you as you
looks.

What kind of beauty are you? .._..contains Anime pictures.._..
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a Intense Kisser
You have an intense kiss! You and your partner
connect when you kiss and you forget about the
rest of the world. Hey, call me!!! ^_~

What anime kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
HASH(0x8c22114)
Guys just love...how shy and sweet you are!

What Do Guys Love About You? (with pics :3)
brought to you by Quizilla

×.09.03.05..19:53.×

Current Mood: -_- fuck you

Listening to: Gwaen Cha Nah - Taebin

X IT IF YOUVE DONE IT
[]been drunk
[]smoked pot
[]kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[]rode in a taxi.
[x]been dumped.
[]shoplifted.
[]been fired.
[]had a job.
[x]been in a fist fight
[]snuck out of your parent's house.
[]been arrested.
[]stole something from your job.
[]celebrated new years in times square.
[]went on a blind date.
[]smoked a cigarette.
[]gone on an airplane by yourself
[]had sex in a car.
[x]lied to a friend.
[]went swimming in your bathtub.
[]had a crush on a teacher.
[]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[]been to europe.
[]made out in a movie theater.
[]taken caffeine pills.
[]been to disney world.
[x]had a crush on someone you hardly knew.
[]been to california
[]been skinny dipping.
[x]regretted something.
[]peed on someones lawn.
[]skipped school.
[]thrown up from drinking.
[]lost your sibling
[]been butt naked banging on the bathroom floor.
[]kissed a member of the same sex
[]had sex with a boy.
[]had sex with a girl.
[x]been in a car accident
[]partied for days and days
[X]had a family member die. ( not anyone close though)
[]played 'clue'.
[x]had a sleepover party
[x]went ice skating.
[x]been cheated on.
[x]had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[]had a threesome ( kiss)
[]had a sweet sixteen.
[]had sex on a roof, with your friends unknowingly watching?
do you?
[x]have a bf.
[]have a gf.
[]have a crush.
[x]have a dog
[x]have your own room.
[x]listen to rap.
[x]paint your nails.
[]play a sport.
[x]play more than one sport.
[]watch sports on tv
[x]have a fav. group/singer/artist.
[x]get good grades.
[x]play an instrument
[]have slippers.
[]wear boxers.
[]wear black eyeliner
[X]like the color blue.
[x]like the color yellow.
[x]like to write.
[x]have long hair.
[]have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[x]have a laptop.
[]have a pager.
are you?
[x]bored.
[]happy.
[]bilingual.
[]white.
[]Black
[]Hispanic
[x]Asian
[] OTHER, BITCHES
Yeah, that's how bored I was <_<

×.03.03.05..13:21.×

Current Mood: .F.u.c.k.Y.o.u.

Listening to: Annoying kids in the classroom

Grr I'm in a bad mood lol...Like, I'm laughing and smiling in class or whatever but like...inside I'm all bitchy and shit =___=; I hate hiding my feelings but I don't want people to like...ask me what's wrong cause I don't like to talk about my problems, typing them to someone is one thing but actually SPEAKING about them is something completely different...I just can't help it. But anyways. I'm in school right now, keyboarding to be exact. I should be printing out my work but I have until next friday to turn them in. So yeah. I need to go home cause I don't feel well...I'm kind of dizzy like I have these...weird moments when I'm zoning out and then once I snap back to reality I'm like all...dizzy and spacy. I guess I have some lovely bags underneath my eyes right now and my eyes are most likely bloodshot right now...blah...I feel like I'm dead <_<; I...feel alone o_O even though there's a lot of people right next to me...even though Jake is right there I still feel lonely. I think that I'll always feel lonely no matter who comes to me. I still don't see why people like being around me so much. I'm boring. There's still about 15 minutes or so left of class...blah....I don't feel like doing anything...I'm typing at a rather slow speed right now <_< I wanna talk to Anu...*cries* lol...I'm so glad that I have a 4 day weekend cause I need it x_X I try too hard....gosh I'm such a flippin' over-achiever -____- I need to loosen up...have fun for once...like...I laugh at everything so that it kind of hides the way I really am I guess...so...technically no one even knows my real self -__- That's so bad. I need to change that. But I'm just so shy...blah. Sometimes I wish that I'm still the way I was back then...so quiet...no problems. But then of course I'd be even more lonely and depressed than I am now. I don't like talking to people about certain things. Personal things. I don't have any real experience with it so............................................yeah. I don't know what to do cause right now I'm really confused about something but I don't want to type it and tell the world cause someone that I know might read it and then well...yeah. I don't want people to know about the way I really feel. It makes me feel insecure...

×.27.02.05..15:45.×

Current Mood: =__=;

Listening to: Nothing

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

That is sooo true. lol. I can't express love at all =__= maybe that's why I can't hold onto a relationship for more than a few months...pretty pathetic isn't it -___- I just hope that this relationship I'm in right now will last a while...a very long time...honestly, I've never loved anybody like this before.

But...anyways...I'm really bored, I just got back from Jake's house. Gah, that went by really fast and now I feel bad cause I'm not there to help finish the project T_T. *sighs* Last night was horrible. I was over at Jake's house from 2 - 7:30 working on the project and whatnot, and like I get inside and my dad starts bitching at me for spending too much time with Jake or whatever so I had to go clean out the fucking garage with one hand cause of my little injury (door slamming on the fingers, my RIGHT hand of course -___-) and so I was cleaning out the rafters in the ceiling and I took this box down cause it was a bunch of garbage and then this fucking board drops down on my back, so I was just laying there in one hell of a lot of pain...my dad didn't even give a fuck...-__- gah I want to run away, stay with someone who actually CARES what happens to me, someone who actually LOVES me...heh, like that's ever gonna happen. Like I'm gonna find someone like that.